Against my better judgement, the adults entered me into pup idol 2010 in Hampstead. Do they not understand the futility, vacuous nature of beauty pageants? I am a dog not an object. Reluctantly I obliged, winning cutest puppy 2010. I used all my charm and some ex-pop star fell for it. I mean, if you are going to smash the system you must do it from within. The press took my photograph and it all started to get serious. I was interviewed for Sky1 (the devil owns Sky, when will he own Earth?). I will be revealed to the world next Thursday. Liam Gallagher knows my name but I refused his offer of being put on speed dial.